would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
