I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
last night I used snow as a chaser
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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