you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
