she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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