Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
