That's intense
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
