..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize