absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
