My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
