I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
