idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
