the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm always down for nudity.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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