Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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