I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
