We named our party play list daddy issues
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
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