these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
