I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
