Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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