The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
