yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
