2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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