I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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