Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
