who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
