Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
