lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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