Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize