There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I puked a lego.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
