were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
