Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
