I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
