Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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