you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
