ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
