PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
