Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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