he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
