maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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