South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
