I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
well most of my day revolves around power hour
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
