Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
