People with herpes should wear stickers.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
