Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
