What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize