You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
