South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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