No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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