The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
