Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
