Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
