Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
